And then some more

So since I started writing here, I have realised that come what may, as much as I'd like to, I am absolutely unable to write over the weekend( Ya,ya! Don't give me that look!Weekend is supposed to be free time and more time to do what you'd want,bla bla). But I have tried and it really really doesn't happen. In fact on certain weekends I am not even able to open my laptop ( I check my mails on my BBerry).So my point or rather my question here is, why am I not able to do something ,if I want to be able to do it so badly,that too on a time that   is technically mine and free from the shackles of mundane working.Maybe cause you don't want to do it so badly or the priorities just keep getting mixed up. And then there is always this thought at the back of your mind about having no constraints about your timings. This is how most of our youth also gets spent,thinking and procrastinating that we have all the time in the world to do whatever we wish to. Tha...

So your day starts with decisions ...what are you going to wear today, what are you going to eat for breakfast,who you going to meet...whom you will avoid...then the day continues and then there are some more of those dreaded decisions to make and to take. Of course Life throws many more situations where you have to make bigger and more complicated decisions than those mundane ones that I just mentioned above.As a child life is less complicated as such, since you dont have to really exercise too much of that "D" word...our parents do it for us or at best,we had limited choices and therefore were pretty clear that we wanted to eat that cookie ONLY or that wear those shoes ONLY! The trouble starts when we start "Choosing" ,making a choice which ultimately translates to making a decision. So if it starts with selecting a career based on what you really want to do vs.what your friends are going to do, or which kind of a person you would want to go out with and date....

On one of those rare evenings when I finished my work early ( or just forced myself out of my workplace),all I wanted was to share some coffee and conversations with my girlfriends. It was just one of those days when no one else from my circle of influence would do..No husband,no family, no colleagues...No one! Just like that there are moments when all I'd want is my girlfriends  ( Sorry bouys!) I dont know what it is about sharing experiences and feelings with your closest friends,but it is deeply satisfying,like a boulder is lifted off the shoulders. Its not so much about meeting them everyday and sharing every tiny detail of your life with them,but there are things in your life that can only be expected to be understood by your girlfriends. Like a broken heart, like losing anything or anyone...yes,they do get it better than your husband/partner ,anyone. Your work frustrations, your mommy woes, your womanly wimps,your mood swings, your bad hair days! It takes a woman to ...

Ever since I have been a mother, I have had these fears in my mind which keep haunting me time and again. The fear that my child will have a big fall somewhere and be maimed for life or that he will get kidnapped from the mall. I understand these are possible and can happen to anyone considering that Luck does run out on you at times.Then that also brings me to the thought that there are so many unforeseen fears like this that keep us from living our life the way we want to.Firstly ,we are constantly living in the fear of failure and death. These are the biggest of all fears that I have noticed in most people that I interact with. Just like the Guilt list I created yesterday, I can create a list for fear also. Fear of the unknown ,the future Fear of commitment towards a person,a job, an idea etc etc... Fear of becoming a huge success, such that one cant handle that success, Fear of discovering a negative trait and side to our otherwise congenial and pleasant persona...

So here I am with my son at a bookstore trying to engage him into solving some puzzles from a book, when another kid nearby is reading to herself.She does not look much older than my 3-year old.But she is obviously doing a better job at the reading than mine is doing at the solving. The perennial guilt strikes. Am I not teaching my kid enough? At this rate I can list I dont know how many such guilts that strike at the most inopportune times.I also hoping that some of you who read this list,will nod your heads in affirmation on atleast a few if not all. Guilt for not be able to give enough time to the child/husband/family/friends/yourself etc.etc Guilt for eating that extra slice of pizza/cake/chocolate or drinking that one extra shot or smoking that one more cigarette etc. etc. Guilt for not saving enough water/trees,not doing enough to save the environment etc etc. Guilt for buying on an impulse that gadget which you may never use,that funky jeans wit...

Time is of essence in every aspect of our life. Some things take a long long time to bear fruit and some things happen in an instant that we are left at a loss of words. Birth and Death are glaring examples of this. Maybe extreme but again they are the basis of our life. It takes 9 months for a baby to be born in it's full capacity ,but death ,it comes instantly irrespective of the fact that one has been terminally ill or suffering from AIDS. When death comes to such people also, it takes away life out the body within a few seconds. To use this perspective in real life, we have seen that to build something that will last ,something that has to be solid from within it's soul,takes a long time to build. A banyan tree that cannot be shaken by an individual has taken 100s of years to grow as tall and big as that.Similarly a bush or a shrub that grows quickly does not survive more than a few months, a couple of years at the max.  Therefore in our life, if we have to build on an...

I was reading in the papers this morning about how a 21-year old intern lost his life in the Delhi Blasts and how his father and uncle had to called to identify his body. Such situations terrify me to the core. Its not so much about the bombs and the mayhem caused by them, but the loss of a life whom you have nurtured and grown with,so that human can become the person he//she is supposed to be. So much has been given up by the parents to bring up their child, in the hope that someday they will take care of them in their old age or will make them proud or will just love them back exactly the way they did or that they may realise their unfulfilled dreams through the child. So much ,just so much is invested and its all lost because of some third person's vengeance or selfish agendas and motives.They say life is not fair,alright. But to lose a child in the grey-days of one's life is not just a big blow,but almost like killing the parents in their souls and their hearts....

So you're a mother now and your life is way different from what it used to be. More often than not you feel like you're all alone in it and no one understands ,how you deal with physical,emotional,professional and social life changes. Strangely, the more mothers ( new and old) I meet, the more the problems and challenges seem to be the same. While in India, we may have help like domestic servants, extended families but the feelings and anxities still are the same. No one wants to leave their babies in the care of a third person, but then again no one wants to give up all the hard work they put in before the baby arrived either. Everyone agrees that 'having it all" may be a myth and yet we all seem to be chasing it at all times;more often at the risk of never enjoying any one thing in our life-be it the growing years of our child, achievements at work or weightloss ( yes that too!) or the loving spouses overtures. There is no single key or single answer on overcomin...

I have late at starting almost everything in my life and this blog is no exception.Anyone reading it is questionable,but its just felt like something I had to do for the longest time. Two-thirds of this year has gone by and not much has happened as per what I had in mind on the first day of this year...in almost all spheres of my life. Everyday seems like a struggle to get ahead and since it seems so overwhelming, I am more and more at the same place and position.Status Quo! So what have been trying to do,change,achieve ....Personally- definitely more peace, better relations,to be a better mother...the usual- you get the idea,right? Professionally, trying to pick up the pieces from where I had quit and trying to build an organisation which will be about my values and my aspirations. Strangely, the more I stick with the values and aspirations, the more I dont seem to take my entrepreneurial journey to a destination. I hope to write more in the coming days about t...