So I gave up a dream...or atleast as I tell everyone else that I have put it on hold for a while( Will I ever go back to working on it,is a very good question that stares in my face).
So would that make me a loser,probably yes ( in the eyes of those wearing conventional glasses).But does it spell doom and gloom to me...I am not so sure yet,but it definitely is a big relief. It feels like a burden off my mind.
I feel like I do have to live up to my own expectations any more. Honestly cause I already have others from my past that I am still living up to or atleast refound them to live up to. And those are more to do with people important to me in my life.I do think living it up to my closest and dearest would be a lot more satisfying than struggling and grappling on to something that just seems too cool to do,or is probably the newest trend to keep up with.
Yes, I am going back to being a regular working professional versus holding on to becoming the "next" hot-shot entrepreneur who was more miserable than a hungry child.And I do not want to be a struggling entrepreneur cause I want the comfort and cushiness that a corporate life offers me. Also cause I have other passions that I want to pursue and there are some priorities that I want to concentrate on. Like my son's well being and education ( I can sense a lot of eyes rolling here,I know).But no,its not easy even if you are on your own and have the option of "flexi" working. Simply cause you have the additional responsibility of ensuring that people are paid salaries on time and provided the comforts so that they can provide for their families in turn. And trust me,that is a huge responsibility to take on.
No,I dont mean to sound cynical or neither is this a case of sour grapes. Its about assessing your life, your priorities,your ambition levels. Yes.that last one is a something that we dont always consider before we start working (no matter on our own or with some organisation-big or small).There is nothing wrong with having no ambition to become the next Sheryl Sandberg or Marissa Mayer. But its an assessment that we as woman on average do not do. We are more of the "go with the flow" kind of species. Simply cause we give ourselves that liberty to let ourselves off the hook. We stop running the race somewhere mid-way ,which is perfectly alright. And then for those of us who wish to start running again, its more of an option where we do not necessarily run all the way,in a continuous manner. But with "consistent" breaks and "detours instead of the case being vice versa.
So working for oneself becomes the easier option. It seems more glamorous and probably simpler ( who wants to deal with an erratic and unreasonable boss, when you already have children,right?). Agreed.
But is it what you really want to do? Is THAT your real dream? Is it really right for you? That a long hard look at your self. I did.And I felt like I was only running in circles and hence could not find the finishing line anywhere. And then one day I entered that circle itself and looked around myself to realise that I was on the wrong track. I could see the track that I wanted to run on.I mustered up all the courage I could ,dug into all the dormant faith that was inside of me and walked over to the track that I ACTUALLY wanted to be on.
I have re drawn my circle of influence and figured out who matter to me and who dont.I couldnt have asked for more from my life at this point.
P.S: Stay connected with those who matter in your life,no matter how far they are from you.Cause as the saying goes- Those who matter ,dont mind and those mind dont matter. :) Have a good week!
So would that make me a loser,probably yes ( in the eyes of those wearing conventional glasses).But does it spell doom and gloom to me...I am not so sure yet,but it definitely is a big relief. It feels like a burden off my mind.
I feel like I do have to live up to my own expectations any more. Honestly cause I already have others from my past that I am still living up to or atleast refound them to live up to. And those are more to do with people important to me in my life.I do think living it up to my closest and dearest would be a lot more satisfying than struggling and grappling on to something that just seems too cool to do,or is probably the newest trend to keep up with.
Yes, I am going back to being a regular working professional versus holding on to becoming the "next" hot-shot entrepreneur who was more miserable than a hungry child.And I do not want to be a struggling entrepreneur cause I want the comfort and cushiness that a corporate life offers me. Also cause I have other passions that I want to pursue and there are some priorities that I want to concentrate on. Like my son's well being and education ( I can sense a lot of eyes rolling here,I know).But no,its not easy even if you are on your own and have the option of "flexi" working. Simply cause you have the additional responsibility of ensuring that people are paid salaries on time and provided the comforts so that they can provide for their families in turn. And trust me,that is a huge responsibility to take on.
No,I dont mean to sound cynical or neither is this a case of sour grapes. Its about assessing your life, your priorities,your ambition levels. Yes.that last one is a something that we dont always consider before we start working (no matter on our own or with some organisation-big or small).There is nothing wrong with having no ambition to become the next Sheryl Sandberg or Marissa Mayer. But its an assessment that we as woman on average do not do. We are more of the "go with the flow" kind of species. Simply cause we give ourselves that liberty to let ourselves off the hook. We stop running the race somewhere mid-way ,which is perfectly alright. And then for those of us who wish to start running again, its more of an option where we do not necessarily run all the way,in a continuous manner. But with "consistent" breaks and "detours instead of the case being vice versa.
So working for oneself becomes the easier option. It seems more glamorous and probably simpler ( who wants to deal with an erratic and unreasonable boss, when you already have children,right?). Agreed.
But is it what you really want to do? Is THAT your real dream? Is it really right for you? That a long hard look at your self. I did.And I felt like I was only running in circles and hence could not find the finishing line anywhere. And then one day I entered that circle itself and looked around myself to realise that I was on the wrong track. I could see the track that I wanted to run on.I mustered up all the courage I could ,dug into all the dormant faith that was inside of me and walked over to the track that I ACTUALLY wanted to be on.
I have re drawn my circle of influence and figured out who matter to me and who dont.I couldnt have asked for more from my life at this point.
P.S: Stay connected with those who matter in your life,no matter how far they are from you.Cause as the saying goes- Those who matter ,dont mind and those mind dont matter. :) Have a good week!
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